Why Therapy Works: Real Wins From the ShrinkChicks Community
If you have ever wondered why therapy works, this episode is full of answers from people who have lived it. Em and Jen share stories and wins from the ShrinkChicks community, from learning to regulate emotions and set healthier boundaries to becoming a better partner, and explain what makes each of those changes possible.
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In this episode
- Why the therapy relationship itself is "the medicine"
- How DBT skills help you stop being driven by your emotions
- What good therapist self-disclosure looks like, and when to shop around
- The pause between feeling and reaction, and why it matters
- Why the right diagnosis can be a relief, not a box
- Grieving a path you chose to leave
The relationship is the medicine
One listener says therapy was the first place they could bring their full self and feel safe. Em and Jen say this is the heart of it: "The relationship is the medicine." Being seen without judgment, again and again, lets people build tolerance for vulnerability and then carry that into other relationships. They note that the relationship with your therapist is one of the most important predictors of success, which is a core value at The Therapy Group.
Another listener valued a therapist who did not jump in with their own story. Self-disclosure can be useful, the hosts explain, but there is a difference between sharing and oversharing. Their rule of thumb: "If it feels gross, it's probably gross." If therapy does not feel right, that is a reason to look for a better fit.
Skills that change daily life
Several wins are about skills. DBT gave one listener the tools to control their emotions instead of being controlled by them, which is the core of distress tolerance. Another learned to reflect instead of react and found more empathy for themselves and others. The hosts describe that pause between feeling and reaction as the place where freedom lives.
Learning to set and hold boundaries was life-changing for another listener. For people who grew up without permission to say no, especially women taught to please, that shift can be huge.
Answers, validation, and bigger lives
For some listeners, therapy led to an accurate diagnosis. Em and Jen explain that the right label can turn something haunting into something workable and point to the right treatment, while acknowledging that everyone gets to decide what a diagnosis means to them. Others simply realized they are not "crazy," and that many struggles are normal reactions to hard circumstances.
Healing also opens doors. Listeners describe building relationships and lives they did not think they deserved, and some are now training to become therapists themselves. Sometimes, the hosts say, the win is simply still being here. If you are in crisis, call or text 988.
Grieving the path you didn't take
The Dear Em & Jen letter comes from someone who left a demanding career to stay home with their kids and does not regret it, but still feels a sinking feeling when their partner talks about work. Em and Jen suggest writing down what you miss each time it comes up, whether that is colleagues or challenge, as a map for your next chapter, and naming the grief to your partner.
Video chapters
- 3:00 What couples therapy can show you
- 4:45 DBT and emotion regulation
- 6:30 A space to bring your full self
- 9:50 A therapist who doesn't make it about them
- 12:40 Becoming a better partner
- 16:00 Responding instead of reacting
- 22:40 Learning to set boundaries
- 24:30 Why the right diagnosis matters
- 27:15 "I'm not crazy"
- 30:50 Still here, and a new career path
- 33:03 Dear Em & Jen: grieving a career you left
Frequently asked questions
Does therapy actually work?
For many people, yes. The episode shares real stories of people who learned to regulate emotions, set boundaries, and build healthier relationships through therapy.
Why does the therapist relationship matter so much?
Feeling safe and understood makes it possible to be honest and try new ways of responding. Em and Jen describe the relationship itself as the medicine in good therapy.
What should I do if therapy isn't working?
Talk with your therapist about it, and consider finding a better fit. If a therapist makes sessions about themselves or something feels off, it is okay to look elsewhere.
Want support with this?
Em and Jen founded The Therapy Group, a relational therapy practice offering in-person therapy in Philadelphia and West Chester, PA, plus virtual sessions. Our team personally matches you with a therapist who fits what you are working on, for individuals, couples, and families.
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ShrinkChicks is for education and entertainment and is not a substitute for therapy or medical advice. If you are in crisis in the U.S., call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.